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preety-lady-serenity's avatar
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I know I have not being around for a very long time. I have the need to talk about why I have being away for such a long time as I see it as a way to heal.

Around a year ago I decided to move-in with a guy I was dating for the past 2 years. As I was the one with the freelance job (being an English tutor and all) I had to move two hours away from my hometown, family and friends. I started working in the afternoon (as a tutor) and at nights (as a nanny) trying to contribute to the household.

And this is where the relationship turned semi-abusive.

Ok I am not sure if I have the right to call the relationship "semi-abusive" as he never lay a finger on me but I know realise it wasn't a healthy one either.

This is how a normal day for me went. I would wake up at 6 in the morning and fix his lunch and breakfast. He would go to work, I would clean the house, cook dinner and then go to work. Once I was home, at night, he would complain about

A. The house not being clean enough for his standards.

B. Me not being there to heat up dinner.

C. Me coming home too late.

He would then spent the evening playing video games and we never got out during the weekend. I also had to beg to see my parents at least once a month.

Now that I think about it I wonder why I put up with it for so long. I guess somehow, in my mind, he had managed to convince me his accusations were right and, even worse, that my parents would turn their back on me if I tried to ask for help.

My parents are not strict, but I never wished to disapoint them and he had managed to convince me that leaving him would disapoint them beyond repair.

And then the catalyst happened. It was a week after Valentine's Day and there was a three-day weekend approaching in Cyprus. We were in the yard and I was trying to convince him to go to my parents for that weekend when he told me, once again, that we could not go cause we were broke. I asked him how we were broke. It had only been 2 weeks since we had received our paycheques and I still had money on me.  And he turned around and told me

" You tell me. I am sure you had been taking my money from me."

I felt like he had slapped me. I was so humiliated. Here I was, a person that used to being in charge of a institute a few years ago, and who the owner had me responsible of collecting the money for him, accused of stealing money.

My humiliation turned into anger instantly and told him the bitter, hard truth. That he was an egoist that cared only about himself and that he had spent all his money on stupid things 2 weeks ago and I had saved the receipts in our expenses. I went into my expenses folder, showed him the receipts and then packed my suitcases and got into my car.

I drove back to my hometown and talked with my parents who were furious. First with him and then with themselves for not noticing.  When he finally called me a day later it was to threaten me that he had gone to his mother's house and I had to come back if I wished him to stay. I told him to get his stuff out of the apartment by Tuesday afternoon that I would return. And leave the key to our next door neighbour.

And thus it ended... The past three months had been difficult for me. I was so unsure on what to do. I will still tutor my students till the end of the May, but I will return back to my parents' house to search for a job in my hometown. Luckily I have started writing again and even got a scholarship to do a summer course that will open new job opportunities for me.  I don't know what the future holds for me but I know 1 thing for sure.

I will never let anyone step on me again. I will be no one's victim.
© 2015 - 2024 preety-lady-serenity
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